Staying Calm

“Mistakes and pressure are inevitable; the secret to getting past them is to stay calm.” Travis Bradberry.

Remaining calm when things start to get busy or stressful can be a wonderful skill to have. It may mean we appear not to be nervous, angry or to show any other strong emotions. Staying calm might be when we are able to take a breath, step back and evaluate the situation. By remaining calm and considering all the options when faced with challenges may actually enable us to save time and be more efficient. It may even help us to solve problems that others may find difficult when they become flustered or confused. Another benefit could be the ability to think clearly when placed under pressure.

There are two really great friends of mine, whom I love camping with. We met Tony and his family while on a trip around Australia and kept bumping into them in different places. They live in Central Victoria and we remain friends, often catching up. Clay is my other great friend, who loves camping. Clay and his family live close by and I had the pleasure of teaching one of his children in primary school. Tony and Clay are two of the calmest people I know. Tony works as a paramedic and Clay is a fireman. If there was an emergency, I cannot imagine any other two people I would rather have there in a time of crisis. They would remain calm and rational, and they would get the job done.

Choose something from this list to try together with your family to help you all learn to remain calm when placed in a tricky situation.

• When you are feeling angry, how do you cool down and not blow your top? Share some strategies you use that might help you calm down when you are starting to feel this way.
• Share what makes you mad then act it out when this happens to you. What did you notice? What did others notice? How did your body feel?
• Take very deep and long breaths. What do you notice about your body? What about your mood?
• Listen to some songs together. Which help you to relax and calm down. Are there some genres of music that do the opposite?
• Play a board game or card game together. Notice your body and how it changes throughout the game. Talk about your body sensations when you have finished. Now try a different game and see if there are any different sensations that you experience.
• Ask some of your friends or extended family how they remain calm when things get busy or they become stressed. Make a list of any ideas that you think you could use if you started to become stressed.
• During the day, go outside and lie on the ground and look up at the clouds. What do you notice about your body? Listen to the sounds around you. Do any sounds make your body relax? What other sounds do you hear and what other sensations do you notice in your body?
• Some people say that when they feel angry, they ‘see red’. What colours describe other emotions? Which emotions would you prefer to feel when you are getting angry and what colour could they be? If you think you are starting to feel angry, what might happen if you think of a different colour? Discuss with your family.
• Go for a walk together as a family. How does a walk make you feel? Could a walk help you if you were starting to feel upset? What other types of exercise might help you calm down? Discuss.
• If you start to feel annoyed, what would happen to you if you made a fart noise? Are there any other noises you could create that would shift you from being annoyed to another emotion? Try making some different noises to each other and see what happens. What happens if you pull funny faces?

Working for years in hospitality gave me many opportunities to practise the skill of remaining calm. On a busy evening in restaurants, many people would come in and the orders would start to hit the kitchen. Sometimes stress levels would increase in the kitchen during service. There were many occasions where I would have disagreements with the head chef, Jeff; I was committed to getting the food to the table as quickly as possible and all meals going together. Jeff was committed to cooking and plating the best possible dishes that he could. Some of these disagreements became heated, but when I left the kitchen with a meal in my hand, I had to remain calm so the diner would experience a wonderful meal in a relaxed atmosphere. And, at the end of the night, Jeff and I would often have a laugh about some of our differences.

“One important reason to stay calm is that calm parents hear more. Low-key, accepting parents are the ones whose children keep talking.” Mary Pipher.